There is a way to completely restore a failing relationship with a new modality that until now was not thought possible. To learn what is required you may wish to read this article.
If two individuals are intent on trying one last time to make their relationship work then there is a way. A relationship is just like a person. It stores within it the sum total of all the memories that make it up. After all when individuals talk about their relationship what do they talk about if it?s not what happened to them i.e. their history. It is the same history that each partner uses against the other and against the relationship to justify why it is worth leaving. Without such information one would be hard pressed to make a case for or against a relationship. This would present a clean slate from which to create something totally fresh, would it not?
Now I know that you?re probably thinking that this sounds a bit dubious at best. I would like to let you know that I have worked with individuals this way for over ten years with very promising results so please try to keep an open mind as you read on.
Now just a word of caution here first. Individuals who enter into a relationship always bring with them the history of their lives that preceded that relationship. This history includes other relationship experiences which are either helpful or not.
In order for a failing relationship to start afresh it also becomes necessary to address destructive relational patterns that already pre-existed in each individual.
Even if a divorce takes place it becomes imperative that the corresponding individuals address this history adequately so that they don”t carry it into the next relationship.
When this happens history tends to repeat itself and in the process consumes an individual’’s life leaving them sad, untrusting and cynical.
So in order to redeem a current failing relationship three things are necessary:
1. Two individuals in integrity who are committed to trying again.
2. The effective release of the negative memories of the current relationship from the minds/bodies of each individual.
3. The effective release of any negative relational patterns that each individual brought into the relationship at its inception.
Part 1 must come from the individuals. Here love is the key to integrity and commitment. If its there great. If not it becomes exceedingly more difficult to make this work.
Parts 2 and 3 can be addressed quickly and easily with a new process called the Mind Resonance Process(TM) (MRP).
MRP helps individuals clear all traumatic memories that the couple hold within them.
It is just such memories that fuel negative feelings against the other and against the continuation of the relationship itself.
Such memories can be released in a way that helps restore the genuine love that the individuals had for each other initially.
What’’s more it can facilitate the necessary emotional growth that such individuals needed before they even entered this relationship.
So what is being said here is that not only are they able to start afresh, they become more capable and mature individuals.
This makes the fresh experience more rewarding and the new relationship more resilient.
If you and your partner are going through a tough time and you feel inspired to experience what MRP can do for you kindly visit the web link below and consider arranging an introductory consultation
Dr. Nick Arrizza is trained in Chemical Engineering, Business Management & Leadership, Medicine and Psychiatry. He is an Energy Psychiatrist, Healer, Key Note Speaker,Editor of a New Ezine Called “Spirituality And Science” (which is requesting high quality article submissions) Author of “Esteem for the Self: A Manual for Personal Transformation” (available in ebook format on his web site), Stress Management Coach, Peak Performance Coach & Energy Medicine Researcher, Specializes in Life and Executive Performance Coaching, is the Developer of a powerful new tool called the Mind Resonance Process(TM) that helps build physical, emotional, mental and spiritual well being by helping to permanently release negative beliefs, emotions, perceptions and memories. He holds live workshops, international telephone coaching sessions and international teleconference workshops on Physical. Emotional, Mental and Spiritual Well Being.
Business URL #1: http://www.telecoaching4u.com
Personal URL: http://www.telecoaching4u.com/Spirituality_And_Science.htm
Interstate Divorce: Getting a Divorce Across State Lines
Susan from California asked, “Can I file for divorce in California if my husband lives in New York? Or, do I have to file in New York?” The answer is that there’s no easy and straightforward answer. Maybe yes, maybe no and maybe in both. It just depends upon the facts of Susan’s situation, the laws of California and the laws of New York. It revolves around the questions of which state has jurisdiction to enter an enforceable order that handles each legal issue involved in the divorce and which state has proper venue if both states could have jurisdiction.
Jurisdiction is the power and authority that a court or a judge has to hear and determine a particular type of case and issue. Personal (in personam) jurisdiction and subject matter (in rem) jurisdiction are the two types that most frequently come up in an interstate divorce.
A court has to have personal jurisdiction over “the person” of each party to a lawsuit in order to enter an enforceable judgment. This means that each person must have been properly served notice of the pending lawsuit and, in some instances, must submit to the jurisdiction of the court by filing an entry of appearance in the court file.
Subject matter jurisdiction is the power of the court to enter an enforceable order regarding the issues in a divorce. Examples of issues are: child custody, disposition of certain types of property, child support, and spousal support. The court must also have the statutory authority to hear a family law case.
Venue refers to which state court is the right one for holding a trial when more than one court has subject matter jurisdiction. A court may have jurisdiction without venue. It cannot have venue without jurisdiction.
In Sally’s case, for example, she and her husband had been separated for several years. Sally had moved to California two years ago and her husband had remained in New York. She didn’t know where he presently lived in New York because he had moved over a year ago without giving her a new address. They had no property together, no children, and neither of them needed support from the other.
In essence Sally had become “unofficially divorced” over two years ago. Now, she just wanted to make her “divorce” official and legal. She filed for divorce in California and requested that the divorce papers be served by a process server in New York at the last address she had for her husband. The process server couldn’t locate her husband, so the papers were returned to the California court as unserved (non est). Sally’s next step was to give her husband notice of the divorce action through “service by publication”, a legal process involving the running of a written notice of the lawsuit in appropriate legal newspapers. Upon completion of the publication process, Sally’s lawyer helped her get a legal divorce, and Sally is now legally a single person.
Sally’s situation was relatively simple compared to what occurs in some divorces. Take Jeri and James’ divorce for example. Jeri and James were married in their high school hometown in Iowa, lived there for six years, and had two children. As part of his job, James was transferred to Illinois.
The family sold their home in Iowa, bought a new one in Illinois and everyone settled into their new home and community. Jeri traded in her Iowa driver’s license for an Illinois one. The children began attending school. Five months after the move to Illinois, Jeri received a letter from a lawyer saying that her husband was going to file for divorce and wanted to mediate the divorce instead of litigation.
When confronted, her husband admitted that he had been having a relationship with a coworker for a number of years and had arranged the transfer to be with her when he found out she was being transferred to Illinois. He also admitted that he had planned to wait until they lived in Illinois to file for divorce because he had been told that it would be better for him to get a divorce in Illinois rather than in Iowa.
Jeri called an experienced divorce lawyer in her Iowa hometown and told him the story. He advised her of her choices based upon the jurisdiction of each state, particularly about which state had jurisdiction over child custody. She packed up her children, some personal belongings, and returned to her hometown in Iowa. Her soon-to-be ex-husband arrived home that night to find a note telling him where she and the children could be reached.
To make a long story short, their divorce lasted a long time and cost them each a lot of money, much of it over which state had jurisdiction and proper venue to deal with the issue of child custody. Six years, many hearings, two trials, two appeals, and over $100,000 in legal fees later, they agreed to settle the custody issue.
Their legal battle was over jurisdiction and venue. Their personal agenda was probably something else.
In cases like Jeri and James’, there is a law called the Uniform Child Custody Jurisdiction Act (UCCJA) that plays a part in determining which state has jurisdiction and venue. The UCCJA is a federal act that has been adopted, in full or in a version thereof, by most of the states and is a part of the family law statutes.
There’s another federal law that came into the picture in Jeri and James’ case. It’s the Parental Kidnapping Prevention Act (PKPA) which also deals, in part, with which state has jurisdiction to make a child custody decision when a parent removes a child from the other parent’s custody without that parent’s permission.
Another example of subject matter jurisdiction can be told in the case of Sue and Frank. They were married in Missouri and had a child in Missouri, moved to Texas, got divorced in Texas where Sue got custody of their child and Frank was ordered to pay her support. Then Sue and their child returned to Missouri, with Frank’s permission.
Several years later, when their child was a senior in high school, Sue filed a motion to modify the Texas divorce judgment in the Missouri court asking the Missouri court to increase the amount of child support and to extend the date for termination of the support obligation to comply with Missouri law instead of Texas law. Her ex-husband was served the Missouri papers and hired a Missouri lawyer to contest subject matter jurisdiction.
The Missouri court modified the Texas judgment, using Texas law–not Missouri law. The Missouri court used the power conferred upon it in accordance with the Uniform Interstate Family Support Act, another federal act, of which Missouri and Texas had each adopted its own version.
By now you probably realize that interstate divorces can either be very simple and relatively inexpensive or very complex and very, very expensive. It all depends upon the facts of each marriage, the laws of each state, the issues to be litigated, the legal opinion you get from a lawyer about which state is more advantageous to your position, the state that is most likely to win any battle over jurisdiction and venue, your spouse’s position on any contested issues, and whether the possible outcome will be worth the risk and cost to you, your spouse, or to your combined estate.
Disclaimer
The author and publisher of this article have done their best to give you useful and accurate information. This article does not replace the advice you should get from a lawyer, accountant or other professional if the content of the article involves an issue you are facing. Divorce laws vary from state-to-state and change from time-to-time. In addition, it is a very fact-specific area of the law, meaning that the particular facts of your marriage and divorce, as well as other external factors may determine how the law is applied in your situation. Always consult with a qualified professional before making any decisions about the issues described in this article. Thank you.
Divorce Schemes & Power Games
Divorce can be a dirty business when in the hands of lawyers who play power games to gain an unfair advantage over the other side. The same applies for angry, vindictive soon-to-be ex-spouses who have a “win at all costs” attitude. If this happens in your divorce, there are few things that you can do to control the other side, but there are several things you can do to prepare and manage the divorce.
The first thing to do is recognize a scheme and power play when you see it. The second thing is to not lose your cool and try to fight fire with fire. It will only cause things to escalate and your entire family will suffer. The final step is to think ahead and plan positive steps to counter your spouse’s power game. Get outside help if necessary.
The following list has descriptions and examples of some of those nasty tricks lawyers and their clients will sometimes pull. If your lawyer recommends that you do this, he or she is setting you up to take unfair advantage of your soon-to-be ex-spouse. If you do these things, don’t be surprised if your actions come back to haunt you after the divorce!
- Take the money out of jointly held bank accounts, put it all into an account in your name alone and don’t tell your spouse about it beforehand. Then let your spouse handle the problems associated with covering the bounced checks. This causes the most confusion and distress if your spouse usually writes the checks to pay the household bills.
- Use credit cards to purchase and stock up on personal items or make large purchases. Make sure to use the cards for which your spouse is the primary cardholder. This is especially effective at the beginning or near the end of a divorce. One lawyer actually told her client to go out the day before the settlement hearing and use her husband’s credit cards to purchase all the items she needed to set up her new household. Her husband would then be stuck with the bills because he had agreed to be responsible for the debt on his credit card as of the day of the divorce, which he didn’t know contained the charges made by his wife.
- If you have moved out of the family home and are the primary source of income for the family, refuse to pay any household bills or send any support until you are forced to do it by the court. This is one of the steps in a routine called “Starve Out The Other Spouse”. The goal is to get the other spouse in a financial position where he or she, out of desperation, will accept an unfair settlement.
- If your spouse doesn’t have an income withholding order, wait until the latest possible day to pay support money, even if you’ve got the money to send. In some states support doesn’t become delinquent until it’s 30 days past due and your spouse can’t do anything to you until the 31st day. Never mind that your spouse just might need the money to pay bills or buy things for the children.
- Petition the court for primary custody of your children when you will actually agree to a joint custody or visitation arrangement. The real purpose for the request is to strike fear into the heart of your spouse and use it as a club to get your spouse to give up on something else, usually a financial issue.
- Refuse to speak with your spouse about anything, including arrangements for him or her to have parenting time with your children. This falls into the category of a tactic used by some lawyers to create conflict, create issues that don’t need to exist, increase legal fees and wear the other side down. It can also cause a serious break in parent-child ties if the noncustodial parent doesn’t get to see the children because he or she can’t set up any parenting time.
- File a bogus petition to have your spouse excluded from the family home under your state’s protection from abuse laws.
These are just a few of the sneaky things that can and have happened in divorces. They are sometimes successful, but are very destructive to any meaningful and fair settlement discussions. In addition, the residual hard-feelings and bitterness they can leave after the divorce could hamper you and your ex-spouse’s ability to effectively co-parent your children. What’s more, they often lead to post-divorce legal proceedings costing additional and unnecessary legal fees which most recently divorced people can ill afford.
Getting a divorce is really just a risk/reward type of thing for some people. Is the risk and potential loss if you get caught by your dirty tricks worth any potential benefit, financial or otherwise, that you might get if you win the game? Think about it? Are you really the winner — or are the lawyers the real winners?
Disclaimer
The author and publisher of this article have done their best to give you useful and accurate information. This article does not replace the advice you should get from a lawyer, accountant or other professional if the content of the article involves an issue you are facing. Divorce laws vary from state-to-state and change from time-to-time. In addition, it is a very fact-specific area of the law, meaning that the particular facts of your marriage and divorce, as well as other external factors may determine how the law is applied in your situation. Always consult with a qualified professional before making any decisions about the issues described in this article. Thank you.
Divorce Lawyer Questionnaire
One of the most frequently asked questions about hiring a divorce lawyer is, “What questions do I ask?” To help you ask the right questions so you get the answers you need during an interview of a divorce lawyer, the Divorce Lawyer Questionnaire is copied from Divorce Strategy.
Attorney Questionnaire
Use the following list of questions to conduct an interview and learn information about a divorce lawyer before you hire that person to represent you.
- How long have you been practicing law?
- How much of your entire practice is specifically in family law?
- What is your hourly rate?
- Do you have other people who usually work on your cases with you? If so, what is their profession and experience? What do you charge for their time?
- What do you anticipate is the role that these people will have in my divorce?
- What is the retainer amount? Is any of it refunded if I should change my mind or we decide to not go through with the divorce?
- What other types of charges besides attorneys fees will there likely be? (long distance telephone, copies, facsimile charges, etc.)
- Describe a time line for how you believe my divorce will progress.
- Do you have a set procedure for handling a divorce case., If so, please describe how you would proceed with a typical divorce case.
- What do you expect from me as a client?
- What percentage of your divorce cases are resolved by a trial versus the percentage that are settled?
One question that isn’t on this list is: “Given the facts of my case as I have presented them to you, what do you believe is the best, reasonable outcome that I can expect to get from the divorce?” Unless you are paying for a consultation, most divorce lawyers will not answer that question in full until after you have hired him or her to represent you in your divorce. Even then, some divorce lawyers will “hem and haw” and tell you that there’s no way to know what the outcome be as it is all in the hands of the court. You shouldn’t accept that answer. The answers to these types of questions are very important to you as they will become the basis for your evaluation of any settlement proposal. Keep pushing for specific answers to specific questions.
Selecting a Divorce Attorney by Munish Dev Rathee
Selecting a divorce attorney is a vital decision making process. The person who you take on will be liable for obtaining or maintaining your custody rights to your children, your property interests, and depending upon the side you are one, either minimizing or maximizing your support rights. In reality, choosing a divorce attorney is also an very stressful experience. You have to be right in choosing your attorney otherwise you will have to suffer a lot.
There are few tactics which you should remember before selecting an attorney. Before you even begin, you need to identify the type of case that you will be involved in. Will you be mediating your divorce? Will you be negotiating? Or, will your case be one of those cases that go to court and become a knock down, drag out divorce litigation? There are divorce attorneys who specialize in these different types of cases and you need to appoint the type of divorce attorney who is best suited to the type of case that you have. If you need to deal with a knock down, drag out litigation, you do not want a mediation attorney trying to defend your interests. Likewise, if you are going through mediation, the last thing you want is a divorce attorney who will try to build issues and move you in the direction of litigation.
The very first step in selecting your attorney is to identify your case. Next, start asking people for help. Since the divorce rate in the United States is at about 50%, chances are you know at least several people who have been through a divorce. Ask about their process, how they selected a divorce attorney, and how their attorney performed for them.
After getting the list of attorneys from other persons you should start looking for their profile from the internet by visiting their websites. Many divorce attorneys have websites, write articles, and advertise on divorce portal websites. By visiting their websites you come to know how they deal in different cases and some of them had posted case study to know what’s are the different tactics used by them to deal different type of cases.
After you have reviewed the divorce attorney websites, make a list of at least two and as many as five divorce attorneys who you think you will be comfortable speaking with. Take appointment by calling in their offices in working hours. Some of those attorneys will charge you for a consultation; the more experience the attorney has, the more likely that you will have to pay for time with that attorney.
When you attend a discussion with a divorce attorney, be prepared. prepare a small history of your case which going to help you out while discussing your case with him/her. If you or your spouse has filed any papers in court, make sure you bring them with you. Bring one or two years tax returns or a recent financial statement so that the divorce attorney can review some of your financial data before being asked questions about “results”.
Make sure you ask each divorce attorney questions about how that attorney’s office operates in response to client phone calls, emails, or other inquiries or needs. If you will be working with a divorce attorney who has no other attorney in their office, be prepared to wait in line when you have a need for a response. That attorney will have other clients who have needs just as significant as yours, and an attorney can be responsive to only one client at a time. Even with that disadvantage, there may be a divorce attorney who you feel is just right for you who is also a solo practitioner. That is a trade off that you may have to get comfortable with.
After you have finished all of the consultations and reviewed the answers to all of your questions, decide which divorce attorney you felt most comfortable with and which one you believe will work with you to get the type of results that you want.
About the Author
Munish Rathee working for Visibility Partners, the client sites he is working on are Naperville Divorce Attorney, Sonoma County Divorce Attorney, New Jersey Divorce Attorneys.