A village clerk says a marriage license for Beyonce Knowles and Jay-Z, dated April 4 and signed by the person who officiated at the wedding, is being filed with the state.
The license was received by mail last Friday, says Scarsdale Clerk Donna Conkling. She would not say who officiated.
The celebrities and their representatives had refused to confirm widespread rumors about the marriage. But there was a lavish party at Jay-Z’s Manhattan apartment on April 4, with guests including Gwyneth Paltrow and Beyonce’s former Destiny’s Child bandmates, Kelly Rowland and Michelle Williams.
The couple have apparently been dating for six years. Knowles, 26, and Jay-Z, 38, whose real name is Shawn Carter, have collaborated on the songs “‘03 Bonnie and Clyde” and “Crazy In Love.”
Kerry Katona is facing a custody battle from her ex-husband Brian McFadden for their two children together.
The former Westlife singer will apparently use Katona’s own MTV series ‘Crazy In Love’ as evidence that she is not a suitable mother to their daughters Molly, six and Lilly-Sue, five.
Katona, who has just given birth to her fourth child, has been widely reported to have struggled with drugs and alcohol issues during her tempestuous second marriage to Mark Croft.
A source close to McFadden, who now lives in Australia with singer Delta Goodrem, tells the News Of The World, “Those poor girls need stability because they’ve lived a rollercoaster ride with Kerry for too long.
“You only have to look at her show and see the mess she’s in. Brian can give them the upbringing they deserve.”
Here are some do’s, don’ts, and tips to help you handle things when your son or your daughter says, “Mom and Dad, I’m getting a divorce.”
- Don’t become personally involved in your child’s divorce.
- Don’t ask your friend, the lawyer, to represent your son or daughter.
- Don’t go to meetings between your son or your daughter and his or her lawyer.
- Don’t let your son’s or daughter’s divorce affect your relationship with your other children.
- Don’t interfere with your son-in-law’s or daughter-in-law’s visitation rights with your grandchildren.
- Don’t say bad or derogatory things about your child’s spouse in front of your grandchildren.
- Control your protective instincts and avoid becoming caught up in the nastiness of the “he said—she said” side of divorce. Recognize that divorce and family break ups are highly charged emotional events and can easily erupt into violent situations. Take precautions to protect your family’s safety.
- Do listen to your son or daughter if he or she confides in you about the break up of the marriage; be supportive, but don’t say things that will fuel feelings of anger, distrust, anxiety, or hopelessness.
- Don’t help your child hide money or assets. If you’re caught, in addition to becoming a party to your child’s divorce or a legal action after the divorce, you could jeopardize your own assets.
- Do pay extra attention to your grandchildren. Their mom and dad may become so caught up in their own feelings about the divorce, that they will unintentionally fail to spend enough time listening to and doing things with their children.
- Realize that your grandchildren’s schedule of life will be drastically changed. They will be shuffled between dad’s home and mom’s home and each parent may jealously guard his or her time with the children. You may have to make special plans, weeks in advance for family get-togethers so that you have time with your grandchildren.
- If either of your grandchildren’s parents will not let you have time with your grandchildren, learn about the grandparent visitation laws in your state, and take legal steps enforce those rights if necessary.
- Your grandchildren need you during and after their parent’s divorce. Call them on the phone, write letters, send cards, and spend time with them.
- If your son-in-law or your daughter-in-law will have custody of your grandchildren, talk to him or her about your access to your grandchildren. Understand that it will be probably be uncomfortable for everyone and that you may be met with resistance, resentment and suspicion. Plan, in advance, for ways you can reduce those feelings.
- Become involved in making “new” family traditions for your child and grandchildren to replace those lost in the ending of your child’s marriage.
- Attend your grandchildren’s special events, such as sports games, recitals, and school affairs where families are invited.
- If there are allegations that your son or your daughter has abused or neglected your grandchildren, be prepared for the possibility that you may be ordered by the court to supervise his or her time spent with your grandchildren. Take this responsibility very seriously and assume that you will have to tell the judge, under oath, about what occurred during the times you supervised your child’s access to your grandchildren. During the time that you are charged with this responsibility, never leave your child alone with your grandchildren and be prepared for the possibility that you will become a target of your child’s spouse or ex-spouse.
- Do help your child become educated about the divorce process, financial planning, child custody, and recovery from divorce.
- If you own property, especially real estate, with your son and daughter be prepared to be named as a party to the divorce proceedings. This is so the court can “divide” the property in which you have an ownership interest.
- If your son or your daughter moves into your home during the pendency of his or her divorce, set rules about household chores, payment of household bills, transportation, and payment for room and board. Have your child sign a lease evidencing your agreement and require regular payments.
- If your grandchildren, as well as your child, live in your home during the pendency of your child’s divorce, discuss with your child how your grandchildren’s day care, transportation, discipline and social life will be handled.
- If your child doesn’t have any money, receive sufficient financial support, or have enough income to pay for everything that he or she is supposed to, plan for the possibility that you may become a secondary source of financial support for your child and grandchildren.
- If you loan your child money to pay for your child’s or your grandchildren’s living expenses, always do it with a promissory note. If possible, secure your loan with any property that your child may receive in the divorce or with your child’s future earnings. Make sure that you charge a reasonable rate of interest and expect monthly payments.
- Plan for the possibility that your child may ask you for large sums of money to pay divorce lawyers and other costs of litigation. If you do provide money, always do it in the form of a loan, charge interest, and demand repayment, but expect that it will take a long time to get your money back, if you ever do. If possible, secure your loan with any property or fee award that your child may receive in the divorce.
- Tell your child and your grandchildren that you love them. Give them lots of smiles, hugs and kisses. They need them more than ever during and after a divorce.
Interstate Divorce: Getting a Divorce Across State Lines
Susan from California asked, “Can I file for divorce in California if my husband lives in New York? Or, do I have to file in New York?” The answer is that there’s no easy and straightforward answer. Maybe yes, maybe no and maybe in both. It just depends upon the facts of Susan’s situation, the laws of California and the laws of New York. It revolves around the questions of which state has jurisdiction to enter an enforceable order that handles each legal issue involved in the divorce and which state has proper venue if both states could have jurisdiction.
Jurisdiction is the power and authority that a court or a judge has to hear and determine a particular type of case and issue. Personal (in personam) jurisdiction and subject matter (in rem) jurisdiction are the two types that most frequently come up in an interstate divorce.
A court has to have personal jurisdiction over “the person” of each party to a lawsuit in order to enter an enforceable judgment. This means that each person must have been properly served notice of the pending lawsuit and, in some instances, must submit to the jurisdiction of the court by filing an entry of appearance in the court file.
Subject matter jurisdiction is the power of the court to enter an enforceable order regarding the issues in a divorce. Examples of issues are: child custody, disposition of certain types of property, child support, and spousal support. The court must also have the statutory authority to hear a family law case.
Venue refers to which state court is the right one for holding a trial when more than one court has subject matter jurisdiction. A court may have jurisdiction without venue. It cannot have venue without jurisdiction.
In Sally’s case, for example, she and her husband had been separated for several years. Sally had moved to California two years ago and her husband had remained in New York. She didn’t know where he presently lived in New York because he had moved over a year ago without giving her a new address. They had no property together, no children, and neither of them needed support from the other.
In essence Sally had become “unofficially divorced” over two years ago. Now, she just wanted to make her “divorce” official and legal. She filed for divorce in California and requested that the divorce papers be served by a process server in New York at the last address she had for her husband. The process server couldn’t locate her husband, so the papers were returned to the California court as unserved (non est). Sally’s next step was to give her husband notice of the divorce action through “service by publication”, a legal process involving the running of a written notice of the lawsuit in appropriate legal newspapers. Upon completion of the publication process, Sally’s lawyer helped her get a legal divorce, and Sally is now legally a single person.
Sally’s situation was relatively simple compared to what occurs in some divorces. Take Jeri and James’ divorce for example. Jeri and James were married in their high school hometown in Iowa, lived there for six years, and had two children. As part of his job, James was transferred to Illinois.
The family sold their home in Iowa, bought a new one in Illinois and everyone settled into their new home and community. Jeri traded in her Iowa driver’s license for an Illinois one. The children began attending school. Five months after the move to Illinois, Jeri received a letter from a lawyer saying that her husband was going to file for divorce and wanted to mediate the divorce instead of litigation.
When confronted, her husband admitted that he had been having a relationship with a coworker for a number of years and had arranged the transfer to be with her when he found out she was being transferred to Illinois. He also admitted that he had planned to wait until they lived in Illinois to file for divorce because he had been told that it would be better for him to get a divorce in Illinois rather than in Iowa.
Jeri called an experienced divorce lawyer in her Iowa hometown and told him the story. He advised her of her choices based upon the jurisdiction of each state, particularly about which state had jurisdiction over child custody. She packed up her children, some personal belongings, and returned to her hometown in Iowa. Her soon-to-be ex-husband arrived home that night to find a note telling him where she and the children could be reached.
To make a long story short, their divorce lasted a long time and cost them each a lot of money, much of it over which state had jurisdiction and proper venue to deal with the issue of child custody. Six years, many hearings, two trials, two appeals, and over $100,000 in legal fees later, they agreed to settle the custody issue.
Their legal battle was over jurisdiction and venue. Their personal agenda was probably something else.
In cases like Jeri and James’, there is a law called the Uniform Child Custody Jurisdiction Act (UCCJA) that plays a part in determining which state has jurisdiction and venue. The UCCJA is a federal act that has been adopted, in full or in a version thereof, by most of the states and is a part of the family law statutes.
There’s another federal law that came into the picture in Jeri and James’ case. It’s the Parental Kidnapping Prevention Act (PKPA) which also deals, in part, with which state has jurisdiction to make a child custody decision when a parent removes a child from the other parent’s custody without that parent’s permission.
Another example of subject matter jurisdiction can be told in the case of Sue and Frank. They were married in Missouri and had a child in Missouri, moved to Texas, got divorced in Texas where Sue got custody of their child and Frank was ordered to pay her support. Then Sue and their child returned to Missouri, with Frank’s permission.
Several years later, when their child was a senior in high school, Sue filed a motion to modify the Texas divorce judgment in the Missouri court asking the Missouri court to increase the amount of child support and to extend the date for termination of the support obligation to comply with Missouri law instead of Texas law. Her ex-husband was served the Missouri papers and hired a Missouri lawyer to contest subject matter jurisdiction.
The Missouri court modified the Texas judgment, using Texas law–not Missouri law. The Missouri court used the power conferred upon it in accordance with the Uniform Interstate Family Support Act, another federal act, of which Missouri and Texas had each adopted its own version.
By now you probably realize that interstate divorces can either be very simple and relatively inexpensive or very complex and very, very expensive. It all depends upon the facts of each marriage, the laws of each state, the issues to be litigated, the legal opinion you get from a lawyer about which state is more advantageous to your position, the state that is most likely to win any battle over jurisdiction and venue, your spouse’s position on any contested issues, and whether the possible outcome will be worth the risk and cost to you, your spouse, or to your combined estate.
Disclaimer
The author and publisher of this article have done their best to give you useful and accurate information. This article does not replace the advice you should get from a lawyer, accountant or other professional if the content of the article involves an issue you are facing. Divorce laws vary from state-to-state and change from time-to-time. In addition, it is a very fact-specific area of the law, meaning that the particular facts of your marriage and divorce, as well as other external factors may determine how the law is applied in your situation. Always consult with a qualified professional before making any decisions about the issues described in this article. Thank you.
The honeymoon is over for former child star Gary Coleman and his new bride, Shannon Price.
The 40-year-old actor and his 22-year-old wife are set to appear on TV’s “Divorce Court” on May 1st and 2nd. The couple wed in August after meeting on the set of the 2006 comedy “Church Ball.”
Among the problems the pair discusses with Judge Lynn Toler are Gary’s anger and intimacy issues. Gary and Shannon agree they have “ugly” monthly fights.
“If he doesn’t get his way, he throws a temper tantrum like a five- year-old does,” Shannon says. “He like stomps the floor and yells, ‘Meehhhh,’ and starts throwing stuff around. He bashes his head in the wall, too.”
Gary says he gets frustrated because “the male is always the bad guy.”
“When I try to state my case or explain things to her or try to get her to understand my point of view,” Gary says, “my point of view doesn’t matter.”
Shannon also complains that Gary has no friends and inexplicably disappears from home in the middle of the night. When Judge Toler presses him, Gary admits he is negative.
“I don’t have any friends and don’t have any intention of making any,” he says. “People will stab you in the back, mistreat you, talk about me behind your back, steal from you. And they’re not really your friends. (They’re) only there because you’re a celebrity or because they want to get something from you.”
Gary went on to describe the couple’s private life as “mediocre.”
“It’s not her fault,” he says. “I always feel like I have the weight of the world on my shoulders every day I get up. … There are days I don’t even want to get up.”
Will Judge Lynn Toler be able to help Gary Coleman save his marriage, or is it too late? Tune in to find out!
Robin Williams and Marsha Garces Williams, married in April 1989, are splitting up. Garces Williams filed a divorce petition in San Francisco on March 21, seeking to end her marriage to Williams on the grounds of irreconcilable differences.
She is in her early 50s; he is 56. They married soon after Williams’ divorce from Valerie Velardi, to whom he had been married for 10 years. Williams’ and Garces’ daughter, Zelda, was born in July of that year; their son, Cody, in 1991.
Williams and Garces met while she worked as a nanny for Zachary, born in 1983 to Williams and Velardi. Garces subsequently worked as personal assistant to the comedian. Four years after their marriage, in a New York Times interview, he said, “I don’t need to go out to a club now and get a little bit of intimacy from 100 or 200 people. Now I can get that talking to friends around the table.”
Over the years, as their family grew, Williams and Garces worked together, both professionally and toward values they shared. In 1991, they founded Blue Wolf Productions; Garces produced “Mrs. Doubtfire,” “Patch Adams,” “Jakob the Liar” and “Robin Williams Live on Broadway.”
Together they also created the Windfall Foundation, a non-profit that focuses on education, health, the environment and the arts. Garces has particularly been involved with Doctors Without Borders and Seacology; Williams with the Christopher Reeve Foundation (he was Reeve’s classmate at Juilliard) and Comic Relief. Their house, in Sea Cliff, was the site of a variety of big-ticket fundraising dinners and cocktail parties, but also Halloween central for neighborhood trick-or-treaters.
Williams has done two publicly acknowledged stints in rehab: for drugs in the ’80s and, after staying sober for 20 years, for alcohol in 2006. The couple was out and about at various events upon his return, and in the past year, he has delighted Bay Area audiences by dropping in unannounced for surprise appearances at comedy events and clubs.
Garces was not at Williams’ side when he was honored by the San Francisco International Film Festival last spring, and amid reports of many sightings in Marin County, where he was said to have been living, rumors of problems have been rife for months.
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Divorce and Federal Employee Retirement
A few months ago, Debbie wrote asking about her interests, as the spouse of a federal employee, in her husband’s federal employee retirement benefits (retirement annuity). Her husband claimed she couldn’t get any of his federal employee annuity as federal law didn’t permit its division. He was mistaken.
Unlike private pension plans, the Federal Employee Retirement System (FERS) and the Civil Service Retirement System (CSRS) are born totally from federal laws and regulations. In a divorce, the division of a FERS or CSRS benefit is done by specific language in a court order, not by a qualified domestic relations order. There are very strict and specific deadlines that must be met by anyone wanting to receive a portion of the employee’s annuity. In addition, there are certain ancillary benefits a divorced spouse could receive only if the court order specifically addresses these benefits.
The administration of FERS and CSRS is handled by the Office of Personnel Management (OPM). A court order acceptable for processing is required by OPM before it will do anything with a federal employee’s retirement annuity.
The court order can divide the retirement annuity by a specific dollar amount or by a specific percentage, up to 100% of the retiree’s net annuity. If the divorced spouse wants to share in any future cost of living allowances (COLA), the court order must provide for it, particularly if the division of the retirement benefit is expressed in a dollar amount. A percentage division of the benefit generally includes COLA’s. In either event, the language in the order must give clear instructions to OPM about how it is to divide the employee’s retirement benefit and how the former spouse’s share is to be determined.
The payment of a divorced spouse’s share in the employee’s benefit will commence when the employee retires or reaches retirement age as defined by FERS or CSRS. If the employee dies before then, no annuity payments will be made. Likewise, annuity payments will terminate when the retired federal employee dies.
Reduced payments will continue to the divorce spouse only if he or she also receives a former spouse survivor annuity per the court order. This annuity must be awarded at the time of the divorce and before the federal employee retires. Or, the employee can voluntarily elect to provide the survivor annuity for his or her divorced spouse. The divorced spouse is entitled to receive a former spouse survivor annuity only if he or she is also awarded a portion of the employee’s retirement annuity.
There are also specific requirements for the length of service that the employee must work to be eligible for an annuity. If the employee doesn’t meet the minimum requirement, there will not be any benefit paid to either spouse, except for a refund of the employee’s contributions. In fact, even if the employee is fully eligible to receive a monthly annuity, he or she can still elect to take a lump sum refund of contributions upon retirement instead of the monthly annuity payment. A court order acceptable for processing should address the division of a refund of contributions, just in case the employee chooses to take a refund instead of the annuity.
There is another type of federal employee retirement benefit called a thrift plan. The employee contributes a percentage of income to the plan. It’s similar to a 401(k) plan, but is operated by an agency of the federal government. It is administered by a different department than the FERS or CSRS, so the court order dividing the asset will have to comply with additional requirements to be acceptable.
For additional information about divorce and a federal employees benefits programs, federal employee pay rates, and more visit these web pages:
Federal Retirement Programs: Other Retirement Publications for booklets, especially the guidebook for family law attorneys. The booklets can be downloaded or printed from your printer.
Salaries and Wages for current pay information for federal employees.
http://www.opm.gov/ for more information from the Office of Personnel Management. Be sure to read the sections on health insurance and life insurance.
http://www.tsp.gov/ for information about the Thrift Savings Plan.
Here’s a short list of key things to remember about federal employee benefit plans and divorce.
- CSRS and FERS are different from private pension plans and cannot be divided by a Qualified Domestic Relations Order.
- You need specific, statutory language in a court order acceptable for processing by the Office of Personnel Management.
- The former spouse’s benefit terminates when the federal employee dies, unless the former spouse has an interest in a survivor annuity.
- The Thrift Savings Plan is a separate retirement plan, is administered by a different agency than the OPM and also requires specific language in a court order.
- There is a Federal Employee Group Life Insurance (FEGLI) program.
- There are federal health insurance benefits.
- Federal employees under Civil Service Retirement System do not contribute to social security, but can have a TSP account in which they contribute up to 7% of their basic pay. Federal employees under the Federal Employee Retirement Systems (FERS) contribute to social security. Their retirement
package is three-tiered: (1.) Annunity contributions to FERS, (2.) Social Security contributions, and (3.) Thrift Savings Plan up to 12 percent of their basic pay plus a 1% contribution and matching contributions (up to 5% on a percentage scale) from the employing agency.Disclaimer
The author and publisher of this article have done their best to give you useful and accurate information. This article does not replace the advice you should get from a lawyer, accountant or other professional if the content of the article involves an issue you are facing. Divorce laws vary from state-to-state and change from time-to-time. In addition, it is a very fact-specific area of the law, meaning that the particular facts of your marriage and divorce, as well as other external factors may determine how the law is applied in your situation. Always consult with a qualified professional before making any decisions about the issues described in this article. Thank you.
Divorce Schemes & Power Games
Divorce can be a dirty business when in the hands of lawyers who play power games to gain an unfair advantage over the other side. The same applies for angry, vindictive soon-to-be ex-spouses who have a “win at all costs” attitude. If this happens in your divorce, there are few things that you can do to control the other side, but there are several things you can do to prepare and manage the divorce.
The first thing to do is recognize a scheme and power play when you see it. The second thing is to not lose your cool and try to fight fire with fire. It will only cause things to escalate and your entire family will suffer. The final step is to think ahead and plan positive steps to counter your spouse’s power game. Get outside help if necessary.
The following list has descriptions and examples of some of those nasty tricks lawyers and their clients will sometimes pull. If your lawyer recommends that you do this, he or she is setting you up to take unfair advantage of your soon-to-be ex-spouse. If you do these things, don’t be surprised if your actions come back to haunt you after the divorce!
- Take the money out of jointly held bank accounts, put it all into an account in your name alone and don’t tell your spouse about it beforehand. Then let your spouse handle the problems associated with covering the bounced checks. This causes the most confusion and distress if your spouse usually writes the checks to pay the household bills.
- Use credit cards to purchase and stock up on personal items or make large purchases. Make sure to use the cards for which your spouse is the primary cardholder. This is especially effective at the beginning or near the end of a divorce. One lawyer actually told her client to go out the day before the settlement hearing and use her husband’s credit cards to purchase all the items she needed to set up her new household. Her husband would then be stuck with the bills because he had agreed to be responsible for the debt on his credit card as of the day of the divorce, which he didn’t know contained the charges made by his wife.
- If you have moved out of the family home and are the primary source of income for the family, refuse to pay any household bills or send any support until you are forced to do it by the court. This is one of the steps in a routine called “Starve Out The Other Spouse”. The goal is to get the other spouse in a financial position where he or she, out of desperation, will accept an unfair settlement.
- If your spouse doesn’t have an income withholding order, wait until the latest possible day to pay support money, even if you’ve got the money to send. In some states support doesn’t become delinquent until it’s 30 days past due and your spouse can’t do anything to you until the 31st day. Never mind that your spouse just might need the money to pay bills or buy things for the children.
- Petition the court for primary custody of your children when you will actually agree to a joint custody or visitation arrangement. The real purpose for the request is to strike fear into the heart of your spouse and use it as a club to get your spouse to give up on something else, usually a financial issue.
- Refuse to speak with your spouse about anything, including arrangements for him or her to have parenting time with your children. This falls into the category of a tactic used by some lawyers to create conflict, create issues that don’t need to exist, increase legal fees and wear the other side down. It can also cause a serious break in parent-child ties if the noncustodial parent doesn’t get to see the children because he or she can’t set up any parenting time.
- File a bogus petition to have your spouse excluded from the family home under your state’s protection from abuse laws.
These are just a few of the sneaky things that can and have happened in divorces. They are sometimes successful, but are very destructive to any meaningful and fair settlement discussions. In addition, the residual hard-feelings and bitterness they can leave after the divorce could hamper you and your ex-spouse’s ability to effectively co-parent your children. What’s more, they often lead to post-divorce legal proceedings costing additional and unnecessary legal fees which most recently divorced people can ill afford.
Getting a divorce is really just a risk/reward type of thing for some people. Is the risk and potential loss if you get caught by your dirty tricks worth any potential benefit, financial or otherwise, that you might get if you win the game? Think about it? Are you really the winner — or are the lawyers the real winners?
Disclaimer
The author and publisher of this article have done their best to give you useful and accurate information. This article does not replace the advice you should get from a lawyer, accountant or other professional if the content of the article involves an issue you are facing. Divorce laws vary from state-to-state and change from time-to-time. In addition, it is a very fact-specific area of the law, meaning that the particular facts of your marriage and divorce, as well as other external factors may determine how the law is applied in your situation. Always consult with a qualified professional before making any decisions about the issues described in this article. Thank you.